TOAST SOME WHITE FOLKS
All right but for real. He went 1 - 18 tonight. And I know he's averaging 18 and 8 this season. But FUCK. KILLING MY FANTASY TEAM BRO. This shit is unacceptable. Like going 1-18 from the field is punishable by death in real life so I think the least that I could do is drop you into waiver wire obscurity. Like I am pretty sure I could sleep in trash bags in an 80 degree room, wake up severely dehydrated, fall down my staircase, slice my Achilles' heels with my mother's new knife set (Like a Boss), break an arm/wrist, limp out to the driveway, get punched square in both eyes, then the balls, then get blindfolded, spun around a dozen times, pointed away from the hoop, shoot 18 times, and hit a minimum of 1 shot from 15-18 feet away. Ball don't lie when it comes off my silky fingertips. I should drop Bosh (a bitch) and pick up KG (not a bitch) who is shockingly still available in my league after coming back from injury. If KG goes for like 22pts/9boards against Denver tonight, I'll make it happen. I'll take his defense, 20 footer, and attitude over an ostrich-lookin, floppin', soft motherfucker anyday of the week. This shit can not happen again.
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