Love Stinks

ESPN - The Minnesota Timberwolves hope that the key to the Western Conference coaches' All-Star vote is through their noses.

Introducing "Numb#rs," the new fragrance by Kevin Love.

On the same day the NBA announced the starters for the All-Star Game next month, the Wolves' public relations department unveiled its campaign to convince the coaches to vote their star into the game as a reserve. A box was mailed to all Western Conference coaches that includes a bottle of "Numb#rs" cologne, a DVD with a 30-second commercial for the product that spoofs an ultra-serious fragrance ad, an advertisement that includes Love and a local model dressed to the nines and a list of his accomplishments on the back, and a bottle of face lotion just for good measure.

If you know me well, you would know that Kevin Love is my favorite basketball player this year. He's the Great White Hope (how fucking hilarious is that nickname. They call him that in Minny). Last year it was David Lee. I go from white guy to white guy. Keeps me sexually satisfied. Not only does he post historical numbers, play hard every night on my fantasy team, and have a smokeshow girlfriend......he's also pretty fuckin hilarious. To get him, I trade-raped a fellow fantasy owner by giving away Brandon Roy (now out indefinitely with yet ANOTHER knee injury) for Kevin Love, straight up. Yea, pretty fucking stupid I know. To be fair, KLove was only averaging like 22 minutes off the bench at the time and Roy was a starting SG in Portland. Yea, no it was pretty fuckin' stupid. Can't really justify that. Sorry Ror.

Well since then I've taken a liking to this man. I follow him on Twitter. I read his GQ blog. I have considered donating to his "Coats" campaign but didn't because I know the homeless are just gonna sell them for drugs and booze. He's also a really good interview. Heard him on Bill Simmons radio show and he's fun to listen to. Especially when he talks about Michael Beasley's cracked-out antics.

We've seen teams release All-Star reservce campaigns for their guys in the past. We've even seen players put out some pretty awesome YouTube videos. Remember the crazy Chris Bosh Car Salesman commercial? Eh, maybe not. But this one by the TWolves is unique. Very K-Love. Boy loves his scarf. Wears it in all his short movies. Best part? The bottle of lotion. Bet that smells fuckin great. Also, Dr. Love here says that the cologne smells like "good smelling sweat". Oh?

Honestly if he isn't selected by the coaches it will be the biggest All Star snub of all time. Remember that 31 pt 31 reb game? Know who else has done that in the NBA since 1975? Kareem, Moses Malone, Robert Parrish, and Swen Nater. That's it. And if he finishes the season shooting 45% from 3, which he is, he'll be the first person to do that. EVER. Look for his name to be announcd on Thursday.