Pops needs to get with the fucking program

So momma came in this morning to wake my ass up at 8am. That might sound normal to a lot of you 9 to 5ers and people that go to school, but I'm on fucking vacation. You know that last time I was up before 8am? Minimum 5 weeks. I usually like to skip the morning and defer to the afternoon when it comes to waking up. Why did she wake me up so early? Surprise! Snow storm. Another foot, give or take. At this point who's honestly counting. Natinoal Weather Service probs.  This is what my driveway looked like. 'We did so much!' my parents said. We have probably had about 50 inches of snow this year I'd say? You know who gets 50 inches annually? Fucking upper Peninsula Michigan. Not CT. This is the craziest winter weather-wise I have experienced in my 17 years in CT. 1996 was close. But not like this. Snow is up to my windows.

Well after all this snow, my family still hasn't figured it out.  We shovel our driveway, by hand. We have NOT gotten a plow guy to come down and help us. Oh and our snowblower is broken. OH and my driveway is over 100 feet long. And is a loop. 'I haven't paid for a plow guy since we lived in Rochester, and I'm not about to do it now.' Yo, pops. First of all you sound like an old man. And second of all, my back is fucked up forever now pretty much. Im bleeding from my knees because I keep falling because we do such a shitty job when we shovel that the driveway is iced over. And my balls are cold. I was in LA when that 27incher slammed us and my mom and dad did the whole driveway...BY THEMSELVES... and then sent my pcitures of there work in an email with the caption 'WOOOOO!!! LOOK WHAT WE DID" attached to it. Like they were proud they spend 6 hours shoveling.

I mean, I guess there's something impressive about that. I've done so much shoveling this winter that I have developed new shoveling strategies. Like when I'm shoveling, I do 30 consecutive shovels before I take a breather. I literally count outloud. Makes me annoying as FUCK to work with though. That seems to be the number that I need to break at in order feel gassed. And it helps you get shit done. Or my new favorite, the backhand grip. Our shovels suck, which makes the process even more painful. So to give my arms a break I hold the handle with my left hand and hold my right hand down lower with the thumb pointed toward the handle. Try that shit.