If I've said it once, I've said it a million times. Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers began visiting here in the late 16th century. It's pronounced "mill-e-wah-que" which is Algonquin for "the good land."
What do you think of when you think of when you think of Milwaukee which is in Wisconsin you ignorant fucks. Beer? Check. Germans? Check. Cheese and other dairy products. Chyaaa. The Brewers? Yup. No, I didn't go there because someone died. I was out in Milwaukee back in October visiting my girlfriend and got to experience all of those things, plus more. I got to go on a tour of Miller Brewery, which was awesome. And FREE. Like did you know that Miller and Coors joined up recently and are now MillerCoors? Bet you didn't. I also got free samples of beer at the end and highly recommend Leinenkugel Oktoberfest....when it is fall again. Don't get it today. Probably bad by now.
Sports are huge in this state, which is partially why I liked it so much. The city has almost got like a college atmosphere to it. Mostly because everyone works at the brewery and is drunk constantly. Wisconsin Badgers, Packosh, Brewers, and the Bucks. Wait no not that Bucks. But those other 3 have college-like followings. I got lucky and got to go to Miller Park, retractable roof and all. This place is as close to a minor league stadium as the MLB offers. I would usually call it gimmicky, but the fact that the city is so open about its beer consumption, I gotta give 'em credit for just keeping it real. First of all, the park sits within site of the huge Miller brewery, just in case you needed a reminder of what the deal was. They must pump the beer underground in a oil pipeline or something because I have never seen beer this cheap at a sporting event. 22 ounces. 22! For $5. You get about 16oz for $10 at Yankee Stadium. Brats? $4. Hot dog? Like $2.75. No wonder everyone in the stadium was a fat bastard! How could you not eat and drink yourself into oblivion daily? Shit, even their athletes are fat. Also, there is a piss-yellow waterslide out in left that masoct Bernie the Brewer slides down every time the Crew knocks a homer. I personally think he should land in a pool of beer and take a shot of PBR (formally brewed in Milwaukee) when he gets to the bottom.
Brewers fans tailgate like college football fans. Holy shit. Grills, tents, flags, tailgate games, food everywhere. If I had known what the fuck was up, I would have gotten my ass there super early and taken advantage of the Midwesterners' generosity and hospitality like a good northeasterner should. Also, Brewer park features a sausage race during the 7th inning with Brewers Girls dance to polka music. If you don't know, now you now. I checked, and unfortunately you cannot place nightly wagers of who will win. Cuz personally i'd put a dime on the Italian sausage to win every night. Dude brings it every night.
Milwaukee is kinda caught in the day of people not giving a shit. Like it's OK to let yourself go and eat bad food and drink heavy beer. Atkins diet? No. Brats covered in grease and cheese. And potatoes. With cheese on 'em. They wear those cheeseheads for a reason. Speaking of cheese, if you get a chance, get yourself a bag of cheese curds at a cheese market downtown. They're so fresh that they squeak when you bite 'em. There's a sexual innuendo there somewhere.
Univeristy of Wisconsin-Madison is only a few hours away. And while I didn't visit, it sounds like a fun place to go. Huge party school. Ranked #3 by Playboy a few years back. And I trust them a lot. Plus Milwaukee is the 38th leagest media market..bigger than Indy, OKC, and NO, which means there's theoretically a lot going on.
Watch Wayne's World. They go see Alice Cooper in Milwaukee. Filmed on site. The down town area has amazing architecture. It's a cool historical city. The Third Ward is a place with lots of bars and restuarants and I was there during a weekend of a home Badgers, Notre Dame, and Packers game. The bars are a great place to go for those. Plus Al Capone and 'beer tycoon' Fredrick Pabst lived there. American Idol was on the other day and they were holding auditions in the Milwaukee Museum of Art. The building that looks like an big white airplane on the edge of Lake Michigan. Not only are the exhibits pretty significant, but the building fucking MOVES.
Overall, I was impressed by Milwaukee's ability to function. How do you not drink ALL the time. Like apparently people actually held jobs and stuff. Plus, it's the second coldest major city in America, after Minneapolis. But during the summer its pretty much all tailgating, binge drinking, music festivals, and parties. Visit.
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