Toddler Terrorists

So I'm getting my hair cut the other day and this little 3 year old kid is terrorizing the whole place and everyone in it.  This little kid is about 3 years old but he is a full grown fucker. Kids got Osh Kosh B'Gosh over-alls on or whatever the hell you call em and a tshirt that said "I'M A ROCK STAR" on it. Yeah, you are kid. I'm not going to give you a play by play of everything he did...but here's an abridged list:

• Kicked a 10ish year old kid in the balls. I'm not lying. I could end the post here but he was just getting started.
• Told his dad that if he didn't give him a piece of gum he would slap him in the face.
• Pretended to hold a rifle in his hand and shoot people and cars on the street while yelling "PPEEWWWWWW!!! PEEWWWWWW!!!".
• After eliminating that threat, he turned on the people sitting and waiting to get their haircut
• And the staff.
• Stole the water squirter device off the counter and sprayed his father in the back of the head.
• Then the barber.
• Then himself, in the face.
• Flopped around like a dead fish on the waiting room chairs.
• SCREAMED
• Decided to attempt some form of break dancing on the waiting room floor.
• Promptly broke a bottle of shampoo/conditioner.
• When the barber was fed up, he gave him a comb to play with. Child promptly threw the comb across the room.

Get the belt. Get the fucking belt. Seriously, parents. How do you tolerate this? How do you ALLOW this? Whip your belt off right there in the store and lash the SHIT outta this ungrateful little demon seed. I want to see marks. On second thought, keep it on the torso. Don't want the teachers asking questions on Monday. You wanna be loud and make a scene kid? Ok we're fucking leaving and your going to sleep. I don't give a fuck if it's 2pm you whiny piece of shit. You wanna break things? You go to sleep hungry. Like dangerously hungry. You wanna disrespect me and others in public? There will be swift and painful repercussions. How often do you see kids like this in public? A lot? I asked my mother today if I ever had outbursts/tantrums in public. She said I NEVER did that shit. You know why? Because my parents weren't retarded. They raised me right and didn't spoil me. Sure we were comfortable but they didnt buy mer the candy bar at the register just cause I asked for it. In the words of my father: "It wasn't a democracy. It was a freakin dictatorship (Pete doesn't swear). You want a 3 year old running YOUR life and making decisions? No. You control the child. Don't give them a choice. It's not 'Where do you wanna go Matty? McDonalds or Wendy's?'. It's 'we're going to Mickey's and you'll be thankful'.

PREACH. PREACH TO ME. No truer words have ever been spoken. Ok so my rents didnt break out the belt when I was younger. But they didn't have to because they got to me early, didn't give me anything, didn't have to bribe me to be good, didn't indulge me when I whined for shit, and told me what was going to happen. Parents need to get with it before their little devils grow up to be terrorists and axe murderers. I've said before that my kids are going to be model children. They will be smart. They will be respectful. They will be supremely attractice. They will be athletic. Not because I am particularly athletic, but because they will be running windsprints as soon as they can lace up their Nike's. They will dominate everyone in Little League because we're hittin' the cages every Sunday. They will say please and thank you. They won't be pussies. They won't be whiny. They will be perfect specimens. It's just unacceptable any other way. Quality of life is so much higher when you aren't chasing your little pieces of shit around all the time. How often do you see people in public that have badly behaved kids and just look flustered and embarrassed and ashamed? That sure as HELL will not be me.

So I think that if you raise children and don't keep them in line, you're doing something wrong. It's your fault. Break out the belt and show 'em how this dictatorship works.